Sometimes

This is the time of year most of us turn our minds back to the memories of those we love and have loved, those that are with us and those that have passed on. This song has been with me for over 35 years and it seems hardly a week goes by that the words don't pass through my mind. I think the words pretty much sum up how most of us feel when reflect on where we've been. I'm very thankful for the friends and family of my past, and especially for those of the present. This is for all of you.

Sometimes not often enough
We reflect upon the good things
And those thoughts always
center around those we love

And I think about those people
who mean so much to me
And for so many years have made me
so very happy

And I count the times
I have forgotten to say, 'thank you'
And just how much I love them

'Sometimes' - The Carpenters

Handy Tips

Handy household tips for better living:

Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.

For high blood pressure sufferers ~ Simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.

If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you’ll be afraid to cough.

You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.

Bonus Daily thought:

Some people are like Slinkies – not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.

Snakes in the Grass

Call them Toxic People, Emotional Vampires, Poison People, whatever you want, they are truly the most sinister and damaging people you can ever encounter. They usually appear to to be upstanding, kind, friendly and well-balanced to the general public. In private they are the most sinister personalities you will ever be threatened with. They are perfectly capable of ripping your heart out, demeaning you existence and killing your soul and spirit. And they won't give a damn but just come back for more.

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/life/8-toxic-personalities-to-avoid-461078

http://counseling.suite101.com/article.cfm/how_to_deal_with_toxic_people

http://www.amazon.com/Toxic-People-Ways-Dealing-Miserable/dp/0312152329

Most that you meet will be casual acquaintances, co-workers or such. In these cases it can be an annoyance but one that can be addressed fairly easily. Nearly the only way to handle folks like this is to just walk away from them or avoid them, they are not easily changed and most will not acknowledge any problem with themselves.

Where the real harm comes in at is when you are married to one or a family member is one.

Normally I can handle most people I encounter and either address and settle any issues that come up or find a way to overcome what's thrown at me. This is one personality that I am ill equipped to handle and the only one that has left me bitter over the consequences. In my case it is a very close family member that has literally ripped a family in two and has turned the sides against each other. After 5 years of trying to appease, please, perform, resolve, reach a compromise or find a solution that would end the demeaning, belittling attacks I finally only found peace by distancing myself from them.

Unfortunately it has also meant a separation from those I hold most dear.

So, I guess this is not so much a blog this time as a question: Have you ever been in such a situation or not and how did you/would you handle it? Comments from all of my 1 1/2 readers would be greatly appreciated.

Strength in giving

I've met some incredibly strong people over the years. These are the ones that have met adversity and refused to let it knock them down but instead have taken it head-on. Single moms are probably the most common of these that you will encounter on a daily basis. These ladies are tough, tougher than most guys will ever be (come on guys, admit it, could you handle it as well?).

I'm going to speak about a couple of friends I've met during the past year or so, they're not single moms but I still admire their strength.

One of my friends was involved in an auto accident almost a decade ago. She suffered injuries that should have left her for dead but survived. The worst of these was traumatic brain injury. She has had to relearn almost everything from scratch. Most of who she was was gone and has only come back little by little over the years. She has struggled with extreme depression, physical injuries that require regular therapy, headaches, her family relationship. In spite of this she has never let go, she has worked and strived to regain, as much as realistically possible, what she was before while also becoming more. Even with this she has still taken the time to reach out, to become a "warrior princess" (my phrase) for the rights and freedoms of others.

The other lady is a more recent acquaintance, one that I am still learning more about each day. I think I have only seen a fraction of what she is so far but even that has been impressive. This woman lost her mom when she was 9 years old, has been through abusive and harsh relationships, serious life threatening illnesses. She had every reason to curl up in a ball and hide. Didn't happen. Instead she raised 4 strong loving children and is a dedicated grandmother and great-grandmother. This ain't all. She still finds the time to reach out and be concerned for the needs of others. She encourages so many that are discouraged. She is "Momz" to many young folks that are in need of guidance. She'll go without to make sure someone else doesn't, to help someone make ends meet when times are hard.

You might notice the common factor both of these ladies have. They reach out and are concerned for others. That in my mind is a key to healing and strength. You can not focus and concentrate on yourself only and expect to be strong and heal. What goes around comes around. What you give away comes back multiplied. Whether you call it karma or what ever, it's a rule that applies universally.

I'm honored to be able to count these ladies among my friends and I love them both dearly.
I just hope I have even a fraction of the strength and selflessness they have.

Alive Again

Hmm, one post in over ten months. Time to rectify that.

Ten months that have been full of more than the past ten years

• Dying embers of a relationship that was meant to last a lifetime
• Recovery from years of belittlement
• Worries over financial security
• Fighting to turn this nation around
  
• The beginning of many great friendships and true friends
  
• The loss of the last of a generation of family: an aunt, an uncle and a Mother.
• Rediscovering the person that has been suppressed for so many years.

There's been a lot of tears, a lot of anger, a lot joy and a lot of discovery. And it's going to continue for the foreseeable future.

But man, it's good to be alive again.

Incubus - Drive

Giving in to my baser urges to subject the World to my Ramblin' thoughts and pontifications.

They're really too young to go out into the world on their own but what the heck, they have to move away from home sometime.

The Web's been good to me, maybe I can pass a little bit back. Don't be surprised about what comes out here, it may be humorous, political (repeating myself), angry, encouraging, sad, enlightening, assuredly not politically correct. But above all, it will be me. Take it or leave it as you see fit but do ponder on it for a moment if you will.